Damn Texas!!
Ok now that I've started working I have to associate more and more with the people here...one thing that troubles me about these texans is the way they say things. I mean they have completely invented their own language and I seriously don't understand it...like today I was carrying out some guys groceries and all I hear is mumbling, and what I thought sounded like 'I'm about to get on my ship.' Apparently he actually said 'before I forget here is a tip' What the hell?? I didn't know that I'd have to learn to speak retard to associate with the people here. And what the hell is with the way they greet eachother?? They say how are you?? seems polite enough but I prefer the hi or hey way; it's easy and painless, you don't have to deal with the person and you can be on your way. But everyone here insists on hearing your life story...I don't even know how to answer a customer when they say how are you?? "Oh I'm fine other then that insanely scratchy rash I have on my ass" Yeah I think I'll try that then maybe people will leave me alone...

How regoddamn stupid is my sister??? You decide!!
Ok my sister and I split up not to long ago after spending our entire lives together so she calls me quite frequently because she doesn't have a life. When I'm not screening her phone calls she usually gives me a laugh because she happens to be one of the most retarded people I know...Example!! (this is where it gets sad) She goes "we didn't have enough money to pay all the bills this month so i decided to pay the cable bill instead of the electric bill because I can't live without the t.v" and I'm thinking 'I wonder how long it took her to realize she can't even turn on the damn t.v. without electricity' Yeah you think thats bad!! Oh it gets worse. She calls me up one day and says "Trish me and Shane (her fat ass boyfriend) are trying to get pregnant and its not working...I don't know what I'm doing wrong" Then I say "did you stop taking your birth control" Then she says "oooooooooooohhh no I didn't" yeah I hung up because I was in awe of how fucking dumb she is....jesus, my mom must have dropped her really hard when she was a baby...

Hair chemicals affecting how blondes think...
Today I was walking down the hallway when I noticed something unusual...A fucking hello kitty backpack. My first reaction was that someone brought their younger sister to school; or their inbred kid (because we all know the deal with Texans and their cousins)Then out of nowhere the "most" popular girl (and I do mean that figuratively) picked up the backpack and began walking down the hallway in her normal - I have a stick up my ass - way. Then I thought to myself 'dear lord.' (oh and this girls name is Britney, how fitting) So she started towards the library which is exactly where I was going; so I thought to myself YAY!! When I got past the exictement of being gagged by her designer perfume for another 5-10 minutes I realized that she walked straight into the middle school section of the library. So as I was deciding which Ernest Hemingway novel I would read for english...I see her yell in excitement because someone returned the book from the babysitters club serious that, I guess, she has been dying to read. This is when I concluded that chemicals from making her hair blonde all these years has definately affected the tiny portion of a brain that she had....fuckin illiterate dumbass...

What the hell??
Today I was in journalism class working on my latest article for the paper when I overheard a conversation by my classmates...you see I usually get along good with my peers but this one girl in the class annoys the fuck out of me...just her laugh and all that airhead bullshit...gets on my last nerve. So they were all sitting around stuffing their faces and leaving the work to me like usual, then really loudly she goes, I have to peepee BRB and no I don't mean she said be right back....she said B-R-B. I'm sitting over there like what the fuck?? Seriously who the hell does that...You would think someone would know they are acting gay but it just makes things ten times worse when they don't know how stupid they are...then they don't shut the fuck up like they should...goddamn texans are fucking retarded, all that banging their cousins is what did it...

Why girls wanna be Britney Spears...
Ok I don't know what the hell is with favoritism in school but it seems like the only people who get treated with respect by the faculty are money hoarding little rich bitches that are involved in majority of the sports our school has to offer....for instance I was in the office the other day getting an attendance pass (which you get after you've been absent) This little task should ordinarily take about five seconds for the fat ass secretary to scribble down her signature...wrong...she proceeds to hand me the slip and then says "that shirt is too short you need to change or put a sweater on" ok now I'm like what the hell I've worn this shirt a million times before.....You see I don't dress slutty because I know nobody wants to see my ass crack...but this shirt definitely abided by school rules....Right when I begin to make my argument an very popular...blonde....senior girl walks in to get an attendance slip....now her shirt is about 2 inches shorter then mine....the secretary nicely scribbles her name on the slip begins to associate with her about softball....while I'm over in the corner tying my shoe.....Then after I secretly wish miss Britney Spears over here will fall on those heels she's wearing...on her way out...nope didnt happen...I go back to argue with the lady but no use she makes me go change....I put on a sweater and come back to the office to get my slip so I can get to first period....she goes to hand me the slip and she's like "I'll be seeing you this afternoon"...and then I said "noooooo I have no reason to come back to the office today" and she goes "no in the lunch room, look at the clock its 8:05 your late....see you in lunch detention" then I mumbled ok fat ass and begin to walk out....she questions me and I politely respond thanks for the attendance pass....I go skip lunch detention and now I'm in ISS....this is my excuse for why girls wish they were Britney-Im a dirty tramp- Spears...